Month 1
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Your baby is here! Perhaps this new phase of your life feels exactly as you imagined it would. Perhaps even better. Or maybe nothing is as you had planned and you are sad, unhappy and overwhelmed. So first things first: all these feelings are completely normal!
The first month after the birth is a time of new beginnings, emotions and, above all, getting to know each other. Your baby already knows your voice and knows how pleasant it is to be rocked when you move. Nevertheless, the move from “indoors” to “outdoors” is a huge change. The baby needs time to feel at home again in their new surroundings. And you also have to get used to the little human and all their needs.
That’s why it’s important that you get help: in addition to your partner, extended family and friends are usually happy to help. It is often easier for them if you clearly state what you need at the moment. For example, you can delegate shopping or other tasks or have pre-cooked food – soups, stews, lasagne – brought to you. But just as important: as nice as company is, constant visits can quickly become too much. So it’s better to cancel and not have a guilty conscience about it. It is your time and you have the best sense of what is good for you right now.
A birth can be wonderful, but also extremely demanding, and it may preoccupy you well into the postpartum period. If the uncertainty, sadness or feeling of being overwhelmed continue to get worse, make sure you get professional help from your postnatal midwife, the mother and father counselling service or a psychological professional.
One of the most important reference values for a newborn baby is their weight. It provides information about how the child is developing. But don’t be worried if your baby loses weight at first: this is usually around 10 per cent of birth weight and the child usually regains their birth weight after around two weeks – and then continues to gain weight. The postnatal midwife can check the weight, but this can also be done at the mother and father counselling service and during check-ups with the paediatrician.
At this point you will almost certainly come into contact with the percentile: in 2006, the World Health Organisation introduced standards for children’s growth, which include characteristics such as height, weight and head circumference. These percentile curves make it possible to compare and categorise a child’s weight development in relation to the average of other children. In concrete terms, this means: if your baby is in the 50th percentile, for example, they are exactly in the middle. Half of the children of the same age weigh more, the other half weigh less.
However, an average value does not necessarily mean that it is the ideal value. What matters more is that your baby follows their own percentile curve. Medical professionals get concerned when there is an abrupt change in the curve – downwards or upwards.
Sleep is extremely important for a baby’s development. Your baby will still nap a lot in the first month. However, most babies don’t sleep much more than a few hours at a time – and then want to drink again. Their stomachs don’t hold that much yet, the milk is quickly digested and hunger wakes the little ones up again. Some babies seem to sleep all day, while others manage with less sleep. As with everything: your baby is also unique when it comes to sleeping!
You can prepare yourself mentally and physically, but a birth is and remains a big event. Try to remain as open as possible and don’t hold on to a fixed idea of how you want things to proceed. At the same time, trust your instincts and needs and stand up for them – or ask your companion to do so for you. Even if it may sound absurd – despite all the pain, try to enjoy the birth a little bit. But don’t worry if you don’t manage that: every birth is different and there’s no right or wrong way.